


Four's The Merrier

by Hiddenfaithy



Series: Adventures of the Commonwealth Misfits [6]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Bisexual main character, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Intimacy, Kissing, Multi, Polyamory, Post-Endgame, Romance, Side Romance, Smoking, Two Minds One Body, mlw - Freeform, railroad, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:35:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24080680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiddenfaithy/pseuds/Hiddenfaithy
Summary: Tessa Grey tenders her resignation with the Railroad, only to find an open door she'd least expected.
Relationships: Curie/Female Sole Survivor/Piper Wright, Deacon/OC, Female Sole Survivor/Piper Wright/Curie/Desdemona, G5-19/Desdemona (Fallout)
Series: Adventures of the Commonwealth Misfits [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/812322
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. Why Don't You Do Right?

“Welcome back Bullseye.”

“I wonder if anyone will still call me that after today,” Tessa mused to Deacon. He gave her a cheeky smile, an almost ever present feature, and tilted his head for her to enter the latest Railroad HQ. From a crypt to a stripper club to a set of high-rise apartments; the Railroad had moved a lot in the past few months. Then again, given everything that had happened, she wasn’t too shocked they kept moving either. Still, she was almost amused that with each attack and enemy defeated, they’d risen higher into the sky rather than sunk beneath it again. 

To her impress, they had a working elevator that would take her from the ground level lobby to the apartments above. Guards waited behind the strategically boarded up windows, while a pair of turrets optimized to be quiet rested a few feet back in the lobby. Riptide and Valor were on guard-duty, something that felt like their ever present assignment. “Hey!” She greeted, wanting to actually talk with them unlike the brief moments she had in the past. 

They turned to her with smiles. “Good to see you Bullseye,” Valor said, new scars somewhere in the mix of his tapestry of survived battles. “Haven’t seen you since the Institute Battle,” he added.

“Well hunting the remnants down took a lot of effort, couldn’t be around for the move. I hope it wasn’t too hard,” she replied.

Valor shrugged. “We’re used to packing up and going. Being able to adapt is the only reason we’re still alive. Each time we lose a base it hurts, I won’t lie, but we’re survivors.”

She gave him a smile and looked between him and Riptide. Deacon patiently waited by the elevator. “Yeah, I guess you are.”

Riptide smiled toothily. He wore less armor than Valor, instead exposing the fresher claw like scars he had on his arms. Tessa remembered that in the Battle, old gen synths kept trying to climb and tear him down as if he were a giant. It had been Valor to save him from a gruesome death. “You two sure like guarding,” she joked.

“I’m good at it,” Riptide replied, “plus… I like protecting others. Some of us aren’t the best fighters.” Valor gave an agreeing grunt.

“How’s Pipsqueak doing?” The young girl flashed through Tessa’s mind, already scarred by the world but determined to save the synths. She couldn’t even be eighteen. Fortunately she’d missed most of the fighting by guarding Tinker Tom during the Battle. At least Desdemona hadn’t ordered her into the fire, which Tessa would have taken issue with. It was both inspiring and sobering to Tessa that someone so young would dedicate themselves to the cause.

Riptide brightened and laughed. “She’s trying to follow her brother’s footsteps. She and Sam help Tom all the time now. Soon she might just replace him!”

“I doubt that’ll happen anytime soon, then who’ll give us crazy theories that turn out true in the end? I can’t believe he was right about the crows being cameras for the Institute…”

“I take everything Tom says with a grain of salt,” chuckled Valor, “have you ever heard that bit about hotdogs?”

“Oh how does it go… If every porkchop were perfect we wouldn’t have hotdogs?” She laughed again. “How does he even know what pork is, there aren’t any pigs anymore. Then again I suppose we do have cram, though I was suspect it wasn’t entirely pork even before the bombs dropped.”

Valor’s face scrunched with amusement, which struck her as peculiar. He was intimidating to look at, scarred, square faced and thick bearded as he was, and yet he felt more like a friendly teddy bear than a yao guai. She’d seen the rage with which he fought, yet there in his presence she felt peace while Riptide still felt like a soldier tensed for the next battle. “Valor, where are you from?” 

He blinked in surprise. “Me? Why do you ask?”

“I can’t quite get you. You fight like someone well trained, you really knew how to hold yourself against the Brotherhood when we attacked that station, you’re scarred from battle, and yet you… you set me at ease?” It reminded her of Nate. Tessa clenched a fist, inhaled deeply, and then shrugged. “I suppose I’m just curious.”

Valor sighed, and shrugged as well. “Not from here, that’s for sure. I grew up in the Citadel, down in DC. My parents were sentinels.”

Green eyes widened. “You mean, you’re from the Brotherhood?”

“Yup. Ex-paladin Jeremy Smyth, reporting, ex-knight Grey.” He pulled a pair of holotags out from under his armor, and offered them to her. His information was inscribed in the holographic blue section, reminding Tessa of the ones she’d been issued. She collected the ones she could from any Brotherhood soldier she’d defeated, as if to honor them. She wasn’t sure. Holding Valor’s made a sorrow fill her chest and she returned them tenderly. 

“What made you change?”

“When I met Whisper and Tango, years back before the Brotherhood became what it did. I won’t lie though… It was already in the process. They were runaways, I saved them from super mutants, and the rest of my squad died. I couldn’t just leave them there, and their escort was dead too. So… I took an unplanned vacation and brought them back here. They joined the Railroad, I was a tourist for a bit. Couldn’t quite make it back by myself but I suppose something was keeping me in the area. Eventually I realized that I could actually be helping people if I joined up.”

She grimaced. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. I was helping people with the Minutemen but the Railroad… I felt like I was truly helping then, not to say the Minutemen isn’t rewarding.”

“I’m sure it is, General. I respect what you do, it’s important. You’re doing what I wish the Brotherhood was. But once Maxson became the Elder, things… They took a turn that I couldn’t stomach. There’s something special about the hope in their eyes when you get a synth to a new home though, isn’t there?”

Before everything collapsed, Tessa had rescued a number of synths, some who’s escort had been killed and their status unknown, or others fresh out of the Institute. She could remember each of their faces, the smiles and light in their eyes when she’d arrived. No one else had ever stood for the synths until the Railroad. That feeling was irreplaceable. “Yeah, there is. First synth I saved I got to Bunker Hill, our contact there was confused to see me but when the synth turned around and hugged me… I guess that’s what made it all real to me, what we were doing.”

“What we still do today,” Valor replied. “People might accept that the Institute we knew is gone, but not everyone accepts synths. We’re still needed. I escorted one to Sanctuary the other week, yknow?”

Tessa nodded. “Desdemona asked me to arrange their new living areas and such. With Sanctuary's open recruitment policy it’s pretty easy to make them a home.” It made her happy to know she could always assure homes for synths through the Minutemen now. It was the best of both worlds.

“She cried when we got there. Until that day, she’d never had a home. When Mamma Murphy welcomed her and told her there was a room ready for her she couldn’t even find words to express how happy she was. Sure, that story could be any wastelander. Plenty of people have never had a place to call home. But you synths? It’s special.”

“I wish I could have been there to see it. What’s her name? I’ll have to say hi next time I’m up that way.”

“Alissa.” He smiled. “That’s why I respect you, Grey. You’re a good person, we’re lucky to have you.”

A frown slipped on her face and she looked away. “I can’t keep living a double life. Not with Piper and Curie.”

Valor nodded. “I get it. But no matter what, you’ve got allies here, just like I know you’re ours.” He held out a hand and she warmly accepted it. His handshake was firm but comforting. “It’s been good working with you, Bullseye.”

“You too, Valor. You or anyone else Railroad swings by Sanctuary, and I promise there’ll be a free bunk for you at the inn.”

“I appreciate that. Be seeing you.”

She smiled, and started towards the elevator. Deacon gave her a smile. “For once you kept your mouth shut,” she teased, “I’m shocked.”

“Believe it or not I know when a conversation is private. Even Riptide went back to watching the street.” He indicated the agent who gave a polite wave goodbye but little else. “Doesn’t mean I wasn’t listening though.”

She chuckled as they entered the elevator, and Deacon selected the tenth floor. The elevator jerked a bit violently once or twice but otherwise rose to the intended destination without making Tessa think they’d plummet to their deaths. They stepped out into a common room where various agents milled about working on various things. Immediately the Railroad looked up at their arrival, and greetings came from all around.

Tinker Tom was working at a station he’d set up near a window, clambering away at a terminal. He’d taken over the entire wall on the east side of the common room, with tools and strange blueprints on cork boards covering the windows. Sam spotted her, and unlike last time she’d seen him he didn’t run away from her, but he did busy himself with some work on a terminal. Pipsqueak gave her an enthusiastic wave before she focused back as well. Tessa sighed with relief, she’d take anything she could get with the former scribe. “Hey Bullseye! Come check this out!” Tom called over. Tessa looked at Deacon who shrugged, and they crossed over to him. “Hey! The Minutemen have Radio Freedom, right?”

Tessa arched a brow. That had been on the bottom of her list of expectations. “Yeah, we run it out of Castle. I can’t stand the fife music, but it’s been really useful to keep our settlements safe.” 

Tom nodded and gestured towards the MILA on his desk. “So, I was thinking, what if we built a radio station of our own, right? My MILAs are already gathering information from what’s around them, and since I don’t need to monitor for Institute terraforming anymore- which by the way turns out they were never doing- might as well make use of you and Cliff’s hard work right?”

Tessa laughed. “I’m not too fond of going to such dangerous high places, so yeah I’d appreciate it not being a waste of effort. How’s Cliff?”

“Out on another MILA job right now actually! I’m looking to get one near Sanctuary so our agents can be in range when escorting synths that way.” He fiddled with a few things on his terminal and then gestured to her. “I could give you an upgrade on your Pip-Boy if you want. That way we’re always just a call away! The encryptions I’m running are crazy tough, not even the Institute should be able to break these codes.”

She paused for a moment. In a way she’d always be attached to them then, but at the same time they weren’t people she’d want to lose necessarily either. “Yeah, okay.” She removed her Pip-Boy and handed it to him. Her head felt light as the HUD it projected for her vanished, and she swayed on her feet for a moment or two. Tom took it carefully and then connected it to his terminal via the cable on the back. “Alrighty it’ll take me awhile, a lot of data to transfer, but you’re going to be around for a hot minute right?”

Tessa shrugged. “I’m here to talk to Desdemona, so potentially. I guess it just depends on if she’s busy.”

Tom frowned and grew quiet. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?”

Wincing, she nodded.

“It’s okay. I had a feeling it would happen sooner rather than later. You’re still our friend though, right?” He asked, hope in his voice.

Tessa placed a hand on his shoulder. “After the shit we went through? Absolutely. I fully believe in the Railroad and its mission, I just can’t live this life anymore.”

Tom slapped her shoulder appreciatively and lit back up to his animated self. “Good! I’d be really sad if I couldn’t talk about science with you! If you swing by dead drops you’ll still get some of my toys from time to time too.”

“I’ll deliver them myself,” Deacon cut in, “any chance to see my pal.”

She blinked. “Wow, thanks Tom. I really appreciate it.”

He shrugged as he started activating the encryption process. “You’re a good person, not just a good agent. I’ll miss you, but I respect doing what you have to do.”

“No matter what, I’ll always be your ally,” she reassured.

She thought she caught a glimpse of tears in his dark eyes, and he sniffled. “I’m glad.” He wiped his eyes and then smiled at her. “I really am.” Tessa came around his desk and gave him a hug.

“What, no hug for me?” Joked Deacon. She squinted at him, and then grabbed his collar and pulled him into a much less comfortable group hug. When she let go of him, Deacon was blushing.

“Don’t doubt my ability to be affectionate,” she teased, and he chuckled. “Just ask Piper or Curie, I am a champion at hugs.”

“I’m sure you are,” he laughed. She came back around and shoved him playfully before giving him a proper hug. He scratched his chin dramatically. “Hmm… I’d say a… Seven? Maybe eight on performance? Ten on intentions though.”

The pair shared in their laughter for a few minutes, swapping jokes back and forth with Tom. Eventually Tessa pulled away. “I’m going to check on Desdemona now, let me know when you’re done and don’t break anything!”

“No promises!”

With a roll of her eyes, she and Deacon started towards a stairwell that led to the living quarters of the new HQ. “So, which room is yours?” Tessa asked Deacon as they walked. She recognized more agents as they passed, as well as some she didn’t know. She idly mused if they were new recruits, quite liking the idea that they were continuing to grow.

“This one,” Deacon indicated as they came up to a room with an orange painted door. “Wanna see the inside?”

“Sure.”

He opened it and led her in. The building was once an apartment complex, though not the most spacious. There was a living room area with a kitchenette and sitting at a well worn table was Rabbit. Tessa arched a brow expectantly. “Sup roomie,” Deacon greeted, and tousled the agent’s recently grown black hair. Tessa tried not to stare at where a left arm should have been. The memory of Rabbit taking the blast of lasers instead of Desdemona in the Battle was burned into her mind. All that was left was a stub of a shoulder, which was wrapped over multiple times by bandages.

“Could’ve warned me we were going to have a guest,” Rabbit drawled as she ate a bowl of sugar bombs. “I’d have put a shirt on.” Instead all she wore were those bandages, tight across her flat chest where some other wounds were still healing up from the fight.

“Sorry dear,” Deacon said half sincerely. Tessa’s other brow went up. “Oh- yeah, meet my girlfriend, Markus.”

“Nice to meet you,” Tessa said, offering her hand to Rabbit, only to realize she should’ve given the other one. “Er, sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Rabbit said with a glum shrug. “Happens a lot still, even around here. I’ve met you before though, remember?”

“At the Imperial,” she confirmed. “I noticed you were by Deacon a lot through the fighting, but didn’t know what to make of it then.”

“We were keeping it pretty quiet… weren’t too sure ourselves,” Deacon explained, “still… a bit figuring it out honestly. But the labels feel right.”

Rabbit nodded, and then continued to munch on her food. “We’ve got this place to ourselves, but most apartments are three to four a room. Desdemona’s the only one with a solo room, and that’s because she sleeps in her office,” Deacon informed as he led Tessa towards the bedroom. It was clear whose side was who’s. On the left there were racks of clothing, shelves with different wigs, hats, and even makeup. The right was much more sparse, though the Silver Shroud posters caught her eye. They had separate, though respectably large, beds.

Tessa brushed her hand along his racks of disguises. “So how many do you carry around? Because I remember a few times I turned around and you were in an entirely new outfit.”

Deacon smirked, and pulled his favorite black pompadour wig on. Once it was adjusted, he gave her a pair of finger guns. “At least two. I’m very good at a quick change. Tip of the trade, wear something large and concealing, with lighter stuff beneath. Like overalls with a different outfit under.”

“I see,” she replied. “Think you’ll still get into trouble with me from time to time?” Tessa turned back to him, an ache in her chest.

“Hah! I already told you I’ll always have your back,” he replied with a shake of his head. “Whenever I’m free I am more than happy to cause trouble with you. Maybe next time, we prank Rabbit with that other persona of yours?”

Tessa groaned as Deacon pointed at the Silver Shroud posters. “It was a one time stint,” she defended. “For that ghoul y'know? He’s that really nice pre-war one in Goodneighbor on the radio.”

“Yeah and when I told Markus I know the real Silver Shroud she about threw me out the window if I didn’t promise it was the truth.”

“Does she know…?”

Deacon winked. “She doesn’t want to know who’s behind the shroud, just that they’re real.”

“Oh god.” Tessa covered her face.

Deacon elbowed her playfully. “Just one time, on her birthday?”

Tessa did not last long against his grin. “Only because it’s you.”

“Yes!” Deacon fist-bumped the air. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

Tessa rolled her eyes. “You already took a rib for me, you don’t have to pay me back for anything.”

He waved her off. “Eh I took that for the Railroad too, doesn’t count.”

Making him meet her gaze, Tessa said seriously, “You don’t owe me anything.”

“Don’t have to be so dramatic,” he replied, “that’s my job remember?”

Tessa snorted. “Yes, it certainly is. Anything else you’re wanting to show me?”

“We have a working bathroom,” Deacon boasted as he led her back to the living area. Rabbit had finished her bowl and was reading a magazine of none-other-than the Silver Shroud on the couch. Tessa inhaled sharply and instead focused on the door he indicated. “It was one of the first things Tom and his fellow mechanics worked on. It wasn’t too hard to get back up once we had the power going.”

“I can only imagine how much of a godsend that is,” Tessa said wistfully. “Sturges is working on that back at Sanctuary.”

“Good luck,” Deacon said. “Rabbit, I’mma take Bullseye on up, wanna listen to some radio plays when I get back?”

She shrugged, short legs hanging over the top of the couch. “Sure.”

“Great! Tessa, ready to face the head honcho?” Deacon asked as they started out. Tessa waved goodbye to Rabbit who didn’t notice. Once back in the apartment hallway, Deacon gestured for her to continue walking in an upward fashion. The stairs started to curve as they passed more rooms. She saw Dr. Carrington’s clinic, which was an entire floor, and then the supply offices. She was happy to see that with each new base, the Railroad had improved themselves rather than grown more desperate.

They chatted as they went, mostly talking about recent news or far away plans. It felt nice to be able to just unwind and enjoy some time with Deacon. Eventually they were at the penthouse level. “Damn,” whistled Tessa, who looked back at the elevator they could have used. “At least it’s easy access.”

“Heh, yeah no kidding. I’d hate to carry someone injured to the clinic if it weren’t for that elevator,” Deacon replied. “I warned Dez when we first talked about this that you’d probably ask. She knew you were coming too, so that should help.”

“Thanks.”

“I guess I’ll leave you here.” He turned on his heels, only to pause. “I’ll see you around sometime okay? I’m always out there listening.”

“Stalker,” snickered Tessa. His expression tightened with seriousness. “Oh.” Tessa pulled him into a tight embrace. It felt like goodbye and yet it wasn’t quite the end. They’d still see each other and after Tinker Tom’s upgrade, they could plan to meet up even. When they pulled apart, he gave her a firm smile and a pat on the back. “Do swing by my place in Diamond City if you’re ever around.”

“Sure thing,” he said, then put his hands in his pockets and started towards the elevator. “Don’t break Desdemona’s heart alright? I think she might like you!”

“Uh huh,” she replied, amused by his joke. He lowered his glasses enough to give her a wink as the elevator doors shut. Then she was alone. The air tasted peculiar to her, on the precipice of change. No matter what she knew she’d be welcomed in the Railroad, and that it would be a people she deeply admired and could consider an ally. Yet to go through with her departure, whatever the exact form may be, was intimidating. She knew she had to do it, for the sake of her own sanity as well as her relationships with Piper and Curie, she had to walk away from being an agent. The double life it required, though perhaps it would be nowhere near as dangerous now, was one she could live no longer. She was sure Desdemona would understand, especially with Deacon laying the ground floor for her.

So why did she hesitate?

The door came open and Desdemona was standing there, basked in light from behind. The sight gave Tessa pause. “Bullseye,” she greeted, “you ready to have that talk?”

Swallowing, Tessa nodded. “Yeah. I guess I am.”

Desdemona gave her a sad smile, and gestured her in. “Let’s talk then.”


	2. Are We Friends?

Once upon a time the penthouse might have been the landlord’s home. It was larger than the rest, the entire floor save the entrance corridor after all, with a full kitchen and living room. P.A.M. was rattling off numbers to Drummer Boy in a secluded area that he immediately shut the door to, granting them privacy. Most of the place was covered in strategic information, from data on who was on what op to potential threats. Tessa was a bit pleased to see Sanctuary listed as a safe haven. Following Desdemona towards an office space, Tessa was a bit surprised when they didn’t sit down in the chairs and instead walked out onto a balcony.

Fresh air that carried the promise of rain filled her lungs, and Tessa looked to Desdemona who gave her a smile. Desdemona sat down in a ratty old chair with an ashtray next to it, and Tessa joined her in the other. Immediately Desdemona pulled out a cigarette from her pocket, lit it, and took a drag. “Join me?”

“Sure.” Tessa took the one Desdemona offered, and they both smoked silently for a few minutes. She could see all the way towards the old CIT ruins from here, though a few taller buildings threatened to block the view. Still, it was impossible to miss the green radiation clouds that hung around the ruins of the Institute. An ache formed in her chest and she sighed ruefully.

“Sure is a lot of shit we’ve been through, huh?” Desdemona started.

“Yeah.”

“A lot of shit I made you do too,” Desdemona added, looking over at her. “I just want to come out and say it, I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t make me join,” argued Tessa. “That was my choice, and it was my choice to keep working with you after I got into the Institute.”

Desdemona shrugged. “Sure, it definitely was. But who’s the one who made the plans that caused so much death, and asked you to pull the trigger because she couldn’t?”

Tessa frowned, crinkling the heavy freckles across her nose. “I had special access in both cases. If someone else could have, wouldn’t you have asked them?”

A ring of smoke flitted through the air, and then Desdemona shrugged. “I suppose so, yes. But what happened is what happened. We made our choices and the synths are freed, the Brotherhood of Steel are tech scavvers, and the Institute is mostly blown up or dead.”

“We also finally made an ally out of the remnants of the Institute,” Tessa countered, trying to focus on the positives.

“Something that would have been absolutely impossible if not for you. Let’s be real here Grey, we owe an awful lot to you. I’m not the kind to dismiss group effort, but none of this would have happened if not for you.”

Tessa tucked her head, focusing instead on the irradiated hell hole in the center of the Commonwealth. She could still remember how it felt when the reactor went off from Mass Fusion. The radiation that had seared into her body, the screaming noise that made her ears bleed, the hands that had tried to force her into shelter. She could also remember Desdemona’s relief at her arrival just moments before the explosion. Throughout it all, from her recruitment to the end of the line, Desdemona had been there.

“So are you proud of all we’ve done?”

“Ultimately? Yes. Everything? No.” Desdemona took a ragged drag and settled herself. “I don’t know if you saw it on your way up, but there’s a memorial in the commons. I asked Sam for some help on it, actually. He’s pretty artistic, believe it or not.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. It’s dedicated to everyone who lost their lives during our war, from the first Railroad agent to give their life… to the scribes who were sacrificed for the good of the Commonwealth.”

Tessa sat up straighter, and stared at Desdemona. The afternoon light cast shadows over her as they faced west, making her look a bit exhausted and gaunt. Still, her hair burned that ever present dark ginger hue, beautiful and intense. She looked better than the months leading up to and directly after the Institute Battle however. “Everyone?”

“Minutemen included. I know it’s a private place but… it’s something isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Tessa said softly, voice lost for a bit. “It is. It means a lot to me, too.”

Desdemona nodded, and took a long drag. “Most of all I regret the Brotherhood kids. Sam talks to Tom alot about them, helps him cope with everything. I’ve listened to it a few times. It hurts, getting to know children I doomed.”

“I see Sam is still around.”

“He likes it here,” she replied, smiling now. “Reminds me of a Sam I used to have.” Tessa arched a brow and she chuckled ruefully. “My little brother, a whole decade younger than me. He died a bit before I joined the Railroad in ‘72. He would’ve been 14, if Gen-One synths hadn’t cut him down while he was scavenging somewhere that should have been safe.”

“Dez…” Tessa whispered, and offered her a hand. Desdemona hesitated before she took it. Calloused fingers gently held equally calloused ones, the softness long since worn away from both of them. What harsh lives they had lived. Tessa’s heart sped a bit faster at the touch. “I’m so sorry. Is that… What made you join?”

“Yeah. At first it was all about stopping the Institute, but over the next few years I learned what it was really about; the synths. That’s the only thing that truly mattered. Protecting your people.”

Tessa gave a sigh. “That’s what I thought after I learned the truth about Shaun. I couldn’t get my… son back anymore, but I could save  _ them _ .”

“Exactly,” Desdemona squeezed her hand. “Guess I was right after you first woke up in the Imperial then, huh?”

Tessa chuckled as she took back her hand. “Yeah, guess you were.” They both paused to smoke, though Tessa didn’t ask for another when her cigarette had run its course. Desdemona instead, lit a second. “You know you should be careful with these things, right?”

“Bad habit I suppose,” Desdemona conceded. “Started after my brother died.”

“That’s a long time to be smoking.”

“Over a decade… Over fifteen years even. I’ve fought for that long for the synths, and it still feels unreal to me that the war is finally over and we finally get to do the cleanup. Oh sure, there’ll always be another battle, but I can actually show my face without fear anymore.”

Tessa gestured to the balcony. “That's why we’re out here?”

“That and Drummer Boy hates the smell of my cigarettes, finally told me after five years of working together!” She laughed softly, eyes distant for a few moments. Then she focused on Tessa, remorse practically all Tessa could see. “There’s a lot of things about the past I can’t change.”

Tessa sighed. “I guess that goes for the both of us.”

“Do you think we’ll get into heaven?” Desdemona mused softly. “Do you believe in all that? I know religion was pretty big pre-war.”

“I’m surprised whenever I meet someone who genuinely believes,” replied Tessa, “I still do. Old Tessa was a firm believer, and I find it comforting nowadays. Maybe even if a man made me, God will still accept my soul.”

“As long as I don’t end up in hell, I’ll be happy,” Desdemona replied, her mood steadily souring. “Some days I doubt it. Not with everything I’ve done.”

“Ends don’t justify the means then?” Tessa inquired.

“Not always.”

They grew silent, letting it pass peacefully between them as they thought about such topics. “Can’t believe I’m forty now,” Desdemona whispered out. “Feels like it’s been a hundred years since I was a kid, and also like the years have gone by in a blur.”

“Looking pretty damn good for forty, especially with the amount of stress you’ve had in your life. Though I suppose you could rock a silver fox look too.” Tessa let her eyes roll over Desdmona, taking in her toned arms and matured frame.

“Don’t flatter me,” Desdemona blushed. “You’re lucky you’ll never even look thirty.”

Tessa gave a cheeky smile. “Suppose so. There are some perks of being a synth afterall.”

“I’m sure,” Desdemona chuckled. Her laughter felt more genuine this time, instead of rueful. “I remember how much synths scared me when I first learned about them, but back then they were just starting to make Gen-Threes. To think a decade or so later I’d have loved a few.”

Tessa blinked, and then softly asked. “Glory?” She could only be certain of one. There had been much gossip before the Brotherhood’s attack that killed the heavy agent. The image of the dark skinned synth bleeding out as Tessa desperately tried to save her filled Tessa’s mind. Tears had burned in Desdemona’s eyes that night, and in the Imperial after. There was no doubt in her mind who that synth could be.

Desdemona sighed. “Yup. Everything felt possible with her. I really turned the Railroad around when I took over in ‘77. We finally started rescuing synths, people died less often, we established layers of security and secrecy that kept us alive. I made the railsigns. After the disaster at the Switchboard, we couldn’t afford to be found out like that again. The Railroad nearly died that day. We went a decade without trouble, and then there were repeated incidents.”

Tessa’s heart clenched. “I’m sorry that I helped cause those. The Institute might not have found us at the Imperial if it weren’t for my Pip-Boy.” She truly did regret the lives that had been lost in both of those attacks. Perhaps the Brotherhood would have found the old church headquarters eventually, but she undoubtedly helped break that final straw. She pictured Glory slowly bleeding in her arms again once more, and struggled not to cry. They had become good friends before her death.

“If it weren’t for you though, we wouldn’t have finally ended the war,” Desdemona replied, holding her hand this time. Tessa blinked in shock. “Glory may be gone, but I know she’s proud of what we’ve accomplished. We’ve gone from hiding in a crypt, to being a part of the Wasteland again. That’s all thanks to you, ultimately.”

“I haven’t done anything special Dez,” she tried to dismiss.

“Yes, you have. You gave us the keys we needed, the opportunities to save all the synths, but above all… you gave us hope.”

Tessa studied their clasped hands, thumb idly rubbing Desdemona’s half gloved fingers. She gave a small smile. “Good outweighs the bad then?”

“Sometimes,” Desdemona smiled.

“Even the fact that I punched you?”

Desdemona cringed, and rubbed her cheek with her free hand. “Well, even that. You punched me because I deserved it. Because I told you to do something I wish I never had to. Yet I still did it. Now I live with that fact, and accept that I’m sometimes an awful person.”

Tessa frowned. Even knowing she often thought of herself that way for what she’d done, having been willing to condemn herself to a lie of a life in the Institute, it hurt to hear Desdemona say it. “Maybe one day you can be more good than bad,” she suggested softly. “Maybe one day the both of us can?”

Desdemona blinked, before a small smile crept across her face. “Maybe.”

“Do you think in the end everything will be alright?” Tessa inquired. “If I was so critical then, will it actually be okay that I leave?”

“No matter what you’re our ally, and if we really need your help, can we ask for it, General?”

“To the best of my ability,” Tessa vowed.

“Then, yes. I think we’ll be okay. We’ve got new recruits inspired by what we’ve done, others who have true experience under their belts now, and some old vets who feel renewed. This new space is especially useful, truth be told.”

“How’s it feel to finally have your own bedroom?” Tessa snickered.

Desdemona leaned back and took a long drag. Tessa’s hand felt cold as Desdemona retreated, a strange sensation filling her chest. “Splendid. P.A.M. is as quiet as the night when I lay down to sleep. It’s taking some getting used to, to be honest, but no more someone shuffling out to take a piss or coughing on a cot. Carrington actually had to come and wake me up the first time, I overslept! Now though, it’s nice. It’s a step towards normalcy that I missed. To be honest, Tessa, I’m kind of jealous.”

“What?” Tessa frowned. “How so?”

“You have a life you can go back to. As much as I love the Railroad, it’s all I have. This  _ is  _ my life. But you?” She gestured at Tessa. “You’ve got Piper,  _ Curie _ , plenty of friends, a whole army to lead and the freedom to do whatever else you want.” 

Something about how she said Curie’s name caught her attention. Tessa frowned deeper with thought. “Well, you still have friends here.”

“I know, and like I said I love the Railroad. I guess I just miss the days I could go out into the world and not have so much to worry about,” Desdemona replied. “I miss those I’ve lost.”

“Are we… friends?”

Desdemona straightened up and blinked. The softest of blushes colored her cheeks. ‘I’d like to think so,” she replied, “I know we don’t always see eye to eye but, I respect you entirely.”

“Respect doesn’t entirely mean friendship, Dez,” Tessa replied. “You can respect a coworker, doesn’t mean you like them any.”

“Suppose you’re right.” Desdemona cleared her throat. “I admire your strength, both physically and of character. I like seeing you, and I trust you completely. I really was willing to give my life for yours in those tunnels as we fled the coursers.”

“I haven’t forgotten that,” Tessa said, the image of her laying on the ground burned up by lasers filling her mind. Desdemona wore them now as scars, though they weren’t nearly as angry as the laser scar Tessa had on her chest. Instead her side looked a faint bit like a ghoul’s, though not rotting in any way. Despite herself, they only added to Desdemona’s beauty. “Thank you, by the way. I never got the chance to say that.”

Desdemona gave her an easy smile. “I don’t know if those lasers would have killed you, I half thought they’d kill me even, but I was willing to give it all at that moment. I know you want out, but I have to be honest. I would’ve asked you to replace me as leader if something had happened to me.”

“You what?”

“You already know you’re a leader,” Desdemona replied, “and Deacon isn’t. He’s a great agent, but not a leader. Given the situation we’d have been going into, you’d have been the one I’d trust most to see us through. I’m glad instead, we’re allies.”

“You’re serious, aren’t you?”

“I am, yes. I’m glad it didn’t come to that, but I would’ve wanted you if it had. Tom and Carrington both knew the contingency. That’s how much faith I place in you.” Desdemona gave her a firm smile. “I’m very glad it didn’t come to that, but… yeah. So, I hope we’re friends.”

“Damn straight we are,” Tessa replied, and rather impulsively, hugged her. It was a bit awkward with Desdemona sitting down, but she returned it in full. When Tessa sat back down, she cleared her throat. “I’ve admired you for so long, Dez, I just wasn’t sure what we were, especially after the Prydwen. I was half scared you hated me personally but knew what I could do for the Railroad. I’ve seen how professional you are, and I love that about you but it had me scared.”

“I never hated you! You honestly thought I might?” Desdemona replied, taken aback. Her hazel eyes widened comically as Tessa’s had.

“Just a bit. I mean, I did more than just punch you…”

“Again, I deserved it. I was scared you hated me!”

They burst into laughter, and Tessa struggled to calm down after a bit. A weight she had been carrying lifted from her shoulders, ascending into the cloudy skyline with such relief Tessa couldn’t stop smiling. “Wow, I guess we both got too good at keeping secrets huh? Didn’t even know what the other was thinking.”

“I learned how to be good at that years ago. Only Deacon knew that Glory and I were in love.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah. This kind of life… eventually all you know is how to keep secrets and lie. I think it’ll be good for you to get out of it. I’d hate to see you lose yourself in the shadows.” Their eyes met, and Tessa softened some. There was something familiar in Desdemona’s eyes. Deacon’s words echoed in the back of her mind.

Tessa’s breath hitched. “You're not…  _ interested  _ in me, are you?”

Desdemona blushed fiercely, and she gave a slow nod. “Like I said, I trust you completely. That’s a rare thing for me, and… I like seeing you. But I know how things are with you and your lovers, especially Curie as of late. I suppose I considered that since you three are well… in a poly relationship that one day something might happen but…” She trailed off, holding herself.

Tessa’s ears were burning, and she averted her gaze. “You’re definitely attractive,” she said, “but Curie isn’t ready for any changes in our relationship. In the end you were right, she and G5 are something entirely new now. Some days she’s Curie, others she’s G5, and sometimes they’re something in the middle. I have no idea how Piper would feel other than that Curie’s not ready for anything like that and-”

“Those just sound like excuses for your partners,” Desdemona replied, “not yourself. You don’t have to lie to me, just tell me if you don’t feel the same. I’m a grown woman Bullseye. I can take rejection.” She’d flinched at the mention of G5, a spark of pain in hazel eyes Tessa knew well.

“Who was the other synth?”

Desdemona was taken off-guard. Her face burned with a blush and Desdemona stood up. “Why are you asking that?” She gripped the plastile railing for support.

“You said you loved a few synths, not just Glory. Every time Curie or G5 are mentioned, you have a reaction.” Tessa stood up as well, not trying to be too forceful but she had to know. 

“Shit. I’m getting sloppy,” Desdemona sighed. She turned out towards the Boston ruins, the sun set behind the mountains now and twilight descending. Stars began to twinkle to the east, and the green glow of the CIT ruins called like a sick siren.

“You said it yourself, I was a top agent for a reason,” Tessa replied. She gingerly reached out and touched Desdemona’s shoulder. The ginger lurched back, eyes wide.

“I really am interested in you, you know?” Desdemona hesitated. “But you’re not wrong either. G5… She, Glory and I were… close. She used to be a courser, and joined our fight about the same time Glory and I started to mingle. Damn, Glory was head over heels for her.”

Tessa frowned with thought. “That explains just how durable Curie is…”

“I doubt any other synth would have survived that explosion. G5 wasn’t the best, but she was damn good. Hell, she used to hunt us down even, till I turned on the charm and got her to see the light. She was one hell of an agent, but she was more than that to Glory and I. We were each other’s everything.”

Tessa got Desdemona to shift back towards her, tears brimming. She knew precisely the pain in hazel eyes, one she had experienced many times over. “What went wrong?”

“We lost some people, a safehouse got taken out. G5 blamed herself. She’d worked so hard to ‘redeem’ her past actions, but somehow she had decided it was because of her courser training. She was convinced that they were tracking her through the trained techniques, which I foolishly conceded was possible. So she did what G5 always did, and made the hard choice to protect us. When she decided to get the mind wipe… It hurt so much. When she didn’t wake up, it hurt all the more.”

At some point Tessa had started to comfort her, holding Desdemona gingerly as if she might shatter from enough force. Her heart ached at what Desdemona had said, the loss so familiar. “That explains a lot about how you’ve acted around Curie.”

“Seeing Curie healing people after we’d… I’d lost Glory… It was like God was mocking me. I couldn’t say a damn thing to her, she’s not G5 like you said. I could see that for the first time, and it hurt to know she was completely gone.”

“She’s not though,” Tessa replied, “she’s back in some strange way. I think she’d really like seeing you again.”

Desdemona sniffled. “Are you sure? Some days I feel quite sure it’d be best for me to just accept she’s gone and move on. It wouldn’t be the first time I buried my love.”

“Before her mind was taken, I’d agree it was for the best for you to stay away but now… I care about G5 deeply, and I want her to be happy. I want you to be happy too.”

“I want you to be happy too. I tried so hard not to let these feelings grow but the thought of losing you hurts near as much as losing them,” Desdemona confessed.

Tessa cupped Desdemona’s cheek, a tender smile upon her face. “Each time you nearly died when we faced the Institute, it felt like another bit of myself was dying. I rationalized it as your importance to the Railroad and success of the mission, but it’s stuck with me. You deserve to speak with G5 again, and I’ll respect whatever choice she and Curie make. They’re really starting to communicate with one another. It helps that they have a diary. I’m not sure how Piper will feel about it.”

“That’s okay,” whimpered Desdemona, leaning into Tessa’s touch. “I can’t thank you enough. Only in my wildest dreams did I think getting this close was possible.”

Tessa smirked, and dared to close the distance between them. Lips met softly, with the hesitance of first-times and nerves. Desdemona’s hands lowered to Tessa’s hips, pulling her closer. Warmth bubbled in their chests and cheeks burned red. They lingered afterwards, soft and tender breaths passing between them. They stared into one another’s eyes, excitement and anxiety running wild. Tessa pulled back first.

“I’m willing to try,” she said.

Desdemona inhaled slowly, calming herself. “I would be surprised if Piper or Curie feel anything towards me, but I do respect them deeply. I can’t imagine what I’m asking is an easy adjustment.”

“It’d be a lie to deny what I feel any longer. I intend on living honestly after today.”

Desdemona smirked, and despite herself started to laugh. It confused Tessa, who arched a brow. “I can only dream of the day I can as well. When all the synths are safe and the world no longer needs the Railroad.”

Tessa gave a wistful sigh. “I’d like to think that day is coming soon. Everything we’ve sacrificed, everyone we’ve lost… It has to be worth it.”

“Love is worth it,” Desdemona said softly.

Tessa’s eyes lowered back to Desdemona’s lips, a tug on her heart. “Yeah… It is.” They kissed again, a bit less bashful than before. When they pulled apart, Tessa stepped away. “I’m going back to Diamond City, and I’m going to talk to them about this. I’d like you to come with.”

Desdemona gave a nod. “I’d… like that too. You should stay the night though, it’s not safe to travel after dark. I’d hate for you to get hurt.”

Tessa snickered. “Wouldn’t be the first time. Is there a spare bed I can use?”

“I’ve got a rather large one,” suggested Desdemona.

Tessa’s ears burned once more. “Are you… uh, sure?”

“I’m not trying to pull a move, Tessa,” Desdemona reassured. 

Tessa cleared her throat and gave a small nod. “Thank you.”

Desdemona smiled, and tilted her head towards the penthouse. “You hungry? I can cook some dinner.”

With a certain warmth in her chest, Tessa took Desdemona’s hand and led them inside. The uncertainty and confusion she’d felt earlier was gone. Nestled firmly in its place was fledgling love, and hope. Somehow, she knew things would work out, and they’d figure out how to make all of them happy. She squeezed Desdemona’s hand. “That sounds perfect to me.”


	3. That Old Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to post this chapter here, whoops. Originally published May 8th.

“I can’t remember the last time I showed my face here.” Desdemona inhaled slowly, appreciating the way cooking smoke and clean air filled her lungs.

“Heh, last time you came here was when you gave me those political orders?” Guessed Tessa.

“Well we needed to assure we had friends in Diamond City, it is the center of the Commonwealth,” replied Desdemona as she started down the steps into the former baseball stadium. “Wasn’t here to enjoy the sights though.”

“I almost shot you!” Reminded Tessa.

“But you didn’t.”

“Only because my radar showed green.” The laughter died down after a short while, and Tessa cleared her throat. “We should head to my house first.”

“I thought we’d already agreed to that?” Desdemona inquired with an arched brow. A hand went to her hip and Tessa felt a thrill of energy down her spine. Now that she was no longer denying how she felt, it was exhilarating to enjoy the ginger’s beauty. 

“Well- yes. I just wanted to confirm,” she explained awkwardly. “Right away, before the town can gossip that I’m back. Piper hates it when I don’t check in first thing when I’m back.”

Desdemona’s lips pulled into a smug grin. “Hmm seems like someone stopped practicing secrecy.”

“Well when the local troublemaker writes about you in her paper, kind of hard to keep a low profile,” Tessa said. They reached the bottom of the stairs and Tessa made a beeline for her home in the marketplace. As always, Diamond City was bustling. Travelers and citizens alike strolled through the packed plaza. Guards kept to their patrol paths, watching the thick crowd for any danger.

A guard with a particularly bald head watched them from behind sunglasses, and Tessa stuck her tongue out at Deacon. To his credit, he only gave the faintest of smirks back. “Did you know you were going to be followed?”

“Of course,” Desdemona whispered back. She made a gesture so subtle Tessa nearly missed it, and Deacon trudged down an alleyway. “He isn’t a fan of when I leave HQ.”

“I do believe you told me once you’re one of three members with all the intel,” agreed Tessa as she shuffled past the chem shop. Solomon politely called after her, but as always she kept her eyes fixated ahead.

“And he’s the other living one on that list,” she said slowly. Hazel eyes kept a close watch on anyone who looked as if they might be listening, but half the crowd seemed preoccupied with Takahashi’s noodle bowls. The broken protectron’s one line of Japanese could just be heard over the gaggle of voices.

Tessa snorted and gestured Desdemona over to the red door of her home. After taking a few seconds to unlock it, Tessa swung it open with a greeting. “Hey darlings, I’m home!” Dogmeat pounced before Tessa had finished speaking. She stumbled back into the door as the hound demanded affection. With raucous laughter, Tessa complied.

“Welcome back Blue!” Piper’s voice came as she rounded the corner from the kitchenette. Her eyes widened at the unexpected guest. “Desdemona! What brings you by?”

Visibly nervous, she brushed a few locks of hair back. “Tessa is officially a Railroad contact, rather than agent. I wanted to talk about the details with you all.”

Piper smiled brilliantly at Tessa, who nodded in confirmation. “That’s fantastic!” Piper said before she rushed over to hug Tessa. She kissed Tessa energetically and removed the blonde’s hat as she pulled back. “Make yourself comfortable then Desdemona, I can get some lunch going.” 

“You can just call me Dez,” she offered as Tessa indicated the nearby couch. “Also, I’d appreciate a meal.”

“Dez it is then. Blue can attest I ain’t exactly one for long names.”

“Tessa is not a long name,” protested Tessa. Piper only gave cheeky laughter and began to rummage through the pantry cabinet. She pulled out some canned vegetables and salted meat. The rapid chop of a knife on a cutting board pleasantly filled the air, while somewhere upstairs a radio was playing smooth jazz. Dogmeat had settled at Tessa’s feet, head resting on her combat boots. Amused, she reached down to scratch behind his ears. A steady thump of tail wagging joined the soft ambiance.

Desdemona gave Tessa an admiring smile. “Is Curie around?” She called to Piper.

“She will be shortly. She’s teaching some biology to the schoolhouse today. I’m pretty sure she’ll be home by noon.” Piper was cooking the meat on the wasteland stove, something that harkened back to more traditional styles rather than the efficient four heating elements of a pre-war oven. It was also considerably, a much greater fire risk which Tessa often lamented.

“I forgot she had that today,” Tessa drawled. “I hope she’s breaking it down so the kids can understand.”

Piper snickered. The veggies had joined the meat in a stir fry of sorts, savory flavors filling the air. Both recent travelers gave contented sighs at the scent alone. Tessa caught Dogmeat sniffing around Piper’s legs and called him over. The hound scampered over guiltily. Tessa frowned at him for all of five seconds before she could withstand his sorrowful brown eyes no longer and she forgave him.

“Shaun is there, he can help translate as he always does,” Piper said.

Tessa laughed. A hand absentmindedly scratched Dogmeat who’s tail once more thumped away. “I’m not sure how well understood that translation is, but it’s got to count for something. What’s the lesson today?” She caught Desdemona hesitantly looking at Dogmeat, and she gave an encouraging smile for the Railroad leader to join in. Dogmeat melted to the floor begging for more. Delight shimmered in hazel eyes, and Desdemona eagerly satisfied the hound. 

Tessa caught herself smiling softly, and almost missed that Piper was talking. “Frogs, and why we’re very lucky they don’t seem to have mutated to extreme sizes like most other animals,” Piper added some razorgrain rice, certainly not as good as pre-war rice but it did the trick. Tessa missed the taste of fresh white rice, along with a hundred other now-extinct recipes. If she focused enough, she could almost recall what steak tasted like before the radiation.

Piper’s voice split through her reverie. “Blue, can you get drinks?”

“Sure thing.” Tessa got up and rummaged through the fridge she’d salvaged with the assistance of Cait. It kept the drinks crisp and food fresh perfectly, though there was a weird smell that would stick no matter how much they scrubbed it. It, fortunately, came out with cooking and wasn’t foul. It was like a smell Tessa simply couldn’t name, driving her mad with frustration. She pulled out a bottle of purified water provided by none other than the local business-kid, two Nuka-Colas, and one glass of brahmin milk. According to her Pip-Boy’s clock, Curie would be home in less than five minutes.

Plating the small dining table with drinks, followed by plates, silverware, and napkins, Tessa wore a proud smile. “That looks lovely,” Piper praised once she’d noticed what her girlfriend had done. Tessa beamed back at her. “God, you’re cute.”

Giggling now, Tessa snuck a kiss on Piper’s cheek. “I hope you had a good day,” Tessa said in her ear.

The reporter flushed crimson, then cleared her throat. “Y-yeah! I got a lead I followed up. Looks like there are some raiders in real weird getups starting to gather on the outskirts of the Commonwealth. They’re a bit too far to be a problem just yet, but probably a good idea to keep an eye on it.”

With an immediate shift in her demeanor, Tessa nodded. “I’ll put out an order from Castle through the radio, all patrols are to increase. We need scouts to locate their nests asap.”

“Nice to see General Bullseye in the flesh again,” Desdemona remarked with a flirtatious tone. Piper arched a brow and squinted at her suspiciously.

“Well, I did quit the Railroad to reduce my responsibilities,” Tessa replied with a blush. “I can do it better by wearing only one hat.”

Desdemona snickered softly. Piper gave a cautious look to Tessa, who shrugged awkwardly. They had kept things fairly light on the walk over, but Desdemona had certainly relaxed compared to before. 

Before any of them could say anything, the door came open. Curie walked inside with a lab coat on, a heavy set of papers within her arms practically falling out of her grip. “Ah assistance please, Madame Wright!” Curie called eyes down on the precarious luggage. Instead, Desdemona was the first to her, and she nabbed the slipping educational papers before they fell onto the floor. “Most thank you!” Curie said, “The wind nearly stole them right from me!”

“No problem,” Desdemona replied.

The moment Curie’s eyes met Desdemona’s, she gasped and dropped the papers. “Dez?” Her voice shifted, losing its French accent. Shock filled her eyes, lip trembling as the name left them. Tessa and Piper stood by, tension and anxiety bubbling in the air.

Desdemona took a small step back, inhaling sharply. “Hey… Yeah, it’s me. Who uh… am I talking to?”

“It’s me Dez,” G5 said, reaching a hand out hesitantly. She took a step back and looked to the others. “You… Tessa, you brought her here?”

“I hope that’s okay.”

G5 stared at Desdemona, hesitance, and uncertainty so thick around her it was practically visible. “Yeah… it is.” The former courser took a small step closer, lips drawing into a thin line. They were both nervous. G5 took one of Desdemona’s hands, her presence like a ghost in the wasteland home. “It’s me.”

“So you know who I am,” Desdemona asked softly, “exactly who I am?”

G5 gave a rueful smile and cupped her cheek. “Been a while, huh hun?” Desdemona broke into tears as they kissed, impassioned and a faint bit desperate. They held each other as if they thought they would disappear when they split apart. Tessa couldn’t stop smiling herself as they finally did, brows resting close together.

Piper cleared her throat. “Hey G5,” she greeted. “Nice to see you.”

“You sure you wouldn’t prefer Curie?” G5 replied with an edge of playfulness.

“I think this is a moment meant for you.”

G5 snickered, much more confident in her mannerism than Curie was. She bit her lip and looked at Desdemona who seemed as if she were floating in the clouds. “Damn right it is. Now, what finally brought you here hun? I know you’re the type to keep their distance so either you made the plea or Tessa did for this reunion.”

“Good as ever,” praised Desdemona, still lost in the clouds. Her face was slowly turning as red as her hair. “Tessa managed to talk me into it. You know I’m too cautious a person to dare do this myself.”

G5 brushed back some ginger locks, admiring the Railroad leader’s beauty. “Well, in fairness, I wasn’t exactly kicking around until a few months ago. You’d have more likely gotten Curie than me.”

“I’m really glad you’re here,” whispered Desdemona, a yearning in her voice that made the reporter stiffen. G5 looked ready to pin Desdemona to the wall and make out.

“How about lunch?” Suggested Piper, “we can all catch up as we eat.”

“You cooked?” G5 inquired. At Piper’s nod, she smiled warmly. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” Piper replied easily, then turned to the kitchenette to set out the food. Tessa silently walked after her to aid, but she hadn’t gotten far before Piper spoke in a low whisper. “You didn’t think about warning me?”

Tessa gave a weak smile, “Well I didn’t know she would react so… viscerally.”

“Or the bit about them being a thing?” Piper half hissed out in an attempt to keep quiet. “Not even a little ‘hey so’?”

“Sorry,” Tessa apologized softly.

Piper sighed, pinched her brow, and then gave Tessa a level look. “Any other surprises?”

“Uh- well see, Desdemona kinda wants to uh… try dating us,” Tessa nervously said.

Hazel eyes blinked incredulously. “Serious?”

“Absolutely. I told her I wasn’t sure if it were possible but I didn’t want to flat out deny her and G5 a chance.” Tessa blushed as Piper took her in, judging her for all she was worth. “I mean, it’s not like we haven’t swung with other people before.”

“Magnolia was just a fling,” Piper dismissed.

“A fling we repeat whenever we visit the Third Rail,” replied Tessa firmly.

“Okay, so you may have a point there. I just don’t like being surprised like this,” relented Piper.

Tessa gave her a charming smile. “If I could have told you earlier I would have, but Desdemona wanted to bring it up herself.”

Piper glanced back to the chatting pair, a certain joy to their faces that was rarely present. “Well… I mean I do like her as a person, I just never considered… that.”

“I figured, and that’s okay. We all know love isn’t a switch, Pipes. All she’s asking is a chance,” Tessa reassured. “Think you can give her that?”

After a few moments of thought, Piper gave a resolute nod. “Sure.”

Relieved, Tessa kissed her brow. “You’re the best.”

“Don’t you forget it,” teased Piper as she began to serve the stir fry into bowls. Tessa brought them over a pair at a time, and once all was ready she sat next to Desdemona and across from G5.

They both thanked her and Piper once the reporter had settled into the last seat. “It smells delicious,” G5 praised before digging in. “Mhm… tastes just as good.”

Piper flushed a bit. “Heh, well spend as many years as I have cooking for a picky kid, you figure out how to make vegetables taste good.”

“How is the little brat?” G5 inquired.

Desdemona arched a brow as if concerned G5 had insulted Piper, but instead, Piper laughed thickly. “She’s trying to get her classmates to write articles for the paper! I made one joke about how it could make a nice piece to see the world through the eyes of a child, and she ran away with it. Shaun has already written three articles too long for print.”

G5 flashed her teeth in a crooked grin. “I like her, she’s got spunk. Could do without the pranks though.”

“Pranks?” Desdemona asked.

“Oh yeah, she’s a troublemaker just like Piper! I think she meant to prank Grey, but instead, Curie used paint to wash our hair. She was so shocked when she realized I woke up so we didn’t drown in the tub!”

Piper sighed ruefully. “Definitely not one of her finest pranks. It took what- a solid week to get it all out?”

“Eight days, sixteen hours and forty-two minutes,” G5 replied aggressively. “Our hair was Diamond City green that entire time.”

“God it smelled too,” Tessa added, mostly occupied with her meal.

“I was tempted to go full shaved again like those Institute fucks did to us,” G5 said.

Tessa tilted her head. “While you definitely have the face to rock it bald, I think Curie prefers hair.”

“Yeah yeah- it’s  _ our  _ hair now not just mine.” G5 darkened visibly, eyes casting themselves aside. “Less hair is easier to maintain, and when it stinks of paint it’s a bit tempting to sheer off.”

With an apologetic look, Tessa tried to move the conversation along. “Hear any other interesting rumors Pipes?”

“Sounds like someone just wants to avoid reading the next issue of the paper,” she teased back. Tessa chuckled and shook her head. “Well… I guess aside from colorful new raider gangs, there is the rumor about some Gunners getting massacred.”

“Serves them right,” Desdemona mumbled around her food.

G5 frowned. “MacCready, the sniper… He has a bad history with them doesn’t he?”

Tessa smiled that G5 remembered, and nodded. “Yeah, they forced him to do some really bad stuff, but eventually he broke free. I know that the Gunners are very aggressive mercs, barely better than a raider gang if you ask me. They’ve got access to some advanced weapons though, gives them an annoying edge.”

“They’re the ones behind the Quincy Massacre too, aren’t they?” Desdemona inquired.

Tessa gave a grim nod. “Yeah… It was quite a mess. Only five people ended up surviving what became of the Minutemen, and I met those survivors in Concord a day after I got out of the vault.”

“That’s where you met Preston, right?” G5 asked. Tessa nodded. “Huh… To think that if Father woke you up a day or more later, the Minutemen might’ve been completely wiped out.”

“Not my favorite train of thought,” Tessa replied, then occupied herself with the delicious meal. Piper had never been lacking in skill, but her latest meals had been particularly tasty.

G5 frowned, then gave a small nod of understanding. They ate with small talk for a little bit longer until they were all finished eating. Satisfied smiles praised Piper who beamed with pride. Tessa cleaned up while Piper brought out some sweet rolls Curie had prepared recently. G5 aggressively plucked one from the plate, while Desdemona offered the synth hers. G5 eyed it for a few moments before she took it as well.

“Still got that sweet tooth huh?” Desdemona said softly as if lost in memories.

Sugar smearing her lips, G5 giggled foolishly. “What can I say, it’s tasty.”

“I’ll be sure to let Curie know,” Piper chuckled.

G5 winked at her before she snuck a piece to Dogmeat who eagerly ate the treat up. “You know that’s not good for him,” Tessa admonished lightly. 

“Eh, makes him happy. Not even I can resist those puppy dog eyes.” Dogmeat barked as if to further cement the statement, and the ladies all admired the hound.

Piper’s eyes drifted to Desdemona, and she tilted her head. “You know, Dez, there’s an awful lot I don’t know about you.”

“That’s by design, most people have no idea I even exist,” she replied with a hint of pride.

“True, but, I would love to interview the leader of the Railroad. It could probably help make people a bit more sympathetic to synths if they understood why people are willing to risk everything for them.”

Desdemona arched a brow. “I hadn’t considered that. We are moving out of our top-secret operations now that the Institute is an ally. You must understand however, there’s much I can’t tell you for the safety of my people.”

She nodded, pulled out her notepad and a pen from her holder on her wrist. Tessa still adored that Piper was always ready for a scoop. Desdemona arched her brow higher, a wry grin pulling at her lips as the reporter prepared herself. G5 got up to fetch some fresh drinks, and Tessa thanked her when a Nuka-Cola was in her hand. The former courser winked, then sat next to Desdemona. Tessa gave Piper a playful kiss on the cheek before she started tending to a whimpering Dogmeat.

“First question then, how long have you been in the Railroad?”

“Trying to find out my age?” Desdemona replied smoothly.

“Just accessing your veteran status,” Piper easily replied.

With a small nod, Desdemona answered, “I was in for five years before I became the leader. Been that for the last eleven years. We changed leadership after our HQ got hit real bad by the Institute. Lost a lot of good people.”

“I imagine you have over the years,” Piper said with a somber tone. Grimaces spread across both G5 and Tessa’s faces. It was easy to remember the wounded in Mercer Safehouse after the Institute attacked the Imperial. Tessa had seen several people dying, that aggressive fellow Viper puking his guts up into a bucket was burned into memory. She’d never forget the grief on Deacon’s face when he’d opened the door.

Desdemona grunted. “There are always casualties in war, and even if you try to prepare, it doesn’t make the pain go away. I’ve done what I could to honor their sacrifice, and accomplish our mission.”

“Why did you start fighting for synths?”

“It’s… pretty personal. Off the record, my kid brother was killed by old gen synths. On the record, it was the right thing to do, and I needed to feel like I was doing something to help. The synths… they never really had allies except for the Railroad, and we’ve only been kicking around the last two decades or so.”

“Sounds like you’ve been in charge for a considerable amount of time then. What made you become the leader, instead of just a top agent?”

Desdemona chuckled at some memory. “I’m the fourth leader of the Railroad. After the third stepped down due to a massive loss, it was down to a vote. I won. I’m in charge because my people decided me to be because I was the one who cared not just about the mission, but about the agents.”

Piper arched a brow, pouncing upon that comment like the expert reporter she was. “I take it you don’t agree with the methods of your rival?”

“He is… Different than I, that’s for sure. Ultimately, however, he cares about the Railroad and our mission, as well as keeping us all safe.”

“Is it Doctor Carrington?” Piper inquired, “he doesn’t give me the warmest of feelings. Not to mention he nearly snapped my head off when he didn’t know who I was during the Brotherhood attack.”

Desdemona gave a slow nod. “He thinks I care too much for our agents, and not enough about winning.” Then a smile slipped her lips and she shrugged. “Guess we know who was right in the end.” A hearty laugh filled the room, and they paused to drink their sodas.

“So, did you ever think you were going to lose?”

“I refused to,” Desdemona said firmly. “I won’t lie and say I never had any doubts, but none I believed in. If I lost hope, then everyone would, and we wouldn’t be talking right now. The last fifteen years have been hell, but it’s all been worth it to free the synths.”

“You sound a bit like Blue,” Piper praised, making Tessa flush. “The first time I interviewed her she said we can’t ever give up hope on seeing our lost ones again.”

“Oh yeah, I remember that. I read that paper and all your others.”

Piper smiled with surprise. “You did? Are you a fan of the press then?”

“It’s an open-source of information that I can trust isn’t biased by the Institute.” Desdemona openly checked her out and smirked. “Also helps when the reporter is so cute.”

G5 snorted while Piper’s cheeks turned crimson. “Bored of me already?” G5 teased. She leaned closer to Desdemona who in turn flushed as her lost lover made herself very known. The only one not blushing at that point was G5, who possessed as much charm as a starlight singer.

“Never,” Desdemona vowed thickly. G5 produced a throaty laugh then kissed her cheek. When G5 pulled back, she reminded Tessa of a cat about to pounce. She half wondered if she should offer them the spare bed that came out of the couch.

Trying to recollect herself, Piper cleared her throat. “Okay, tell me, what to you is a synth?”

“A person,” Desdemona instantly said, “someone who is as alive as any human, with dreams, needs, and a soul.”

G5 and Tessa smiled at her words, something stirring inside Tessa. Desdemona was the type of person who could easily give a motivating speech, but even when she spoke swiftly there was an impact that she found uplifting. There was a force to Desdemona that sometimes others described to her, power and magnetism as if the future moved with her. It was beautiful even.

Piper closed her notepad and tucked her pen away. “Thanks, Dez, I’m sure I can make something good with this. Loose on the names, heavy on the facts, full of emotion.”

Desdemona smiled politely. “I hope it genuinely helps. Turning public opinion and taking out some final threats is the Railroad’s main goal now.”

“Threats?” Tessa asked tightly, worry prickling up her spine.

Desdemona waved her off. “Nothing the agents can’t handle, don’t worry. It’s mostly just raiders who are making it particularly tough for synths, nothing new.”

Relaxing, Tessa gave a little nod. “Right, okay. So… now what?”

The women shared glanced and shrugs before Piper tapped her chin thoughtfully. “Well after I check up on Nat and Shaun, how about… a night out? It’s been a while since we’ve had an easy evening.”

“According to Curie’s journal, no it hasn’t,” G5 cut in.

“Not  _ that  _ kind of an easy evening,” Piper squeaked. She was as red as her trenchcoat now. “I’m not near that quick!” G5 gave a mischievous smile. Piper gasped then swatted her shoulder with the notepad.

Dramatically, G5 covered her mouth. “How  _ could  _ you! I trusted you! Now that you’ve wounded me I have no choice but to retire for the rest of the day.”

“God, you’re more trouble than I am,” Piper snarked.

G5 winked, before bursting into laughter. Tessa and Desdemona both smiled at the sound, while Piper rolled her eyes. “Look, I used to be a stoic emotionless murderer, let me enjoy laughter.”

“Don’t use that excuse now,” Desdemona interjected, “You haven’t been that way for a long time.”

“Even you would betray me?” She gasped, dark eyes alight. This was a side of G5 they rarely got to see, but the presence of Desdemona had radiated her into such a happy mood it was practically overflowing. Her mirth softened as she locked eyes with Desdemona. They kissed once more, slowly this time. Tessa and Piper interlocked their arms and leaned against one another, a peaceful hum between them. Some part of Tessa was overjoyed to have helped those two reunite, while another was eager at what may come.


	4. An Easy Night

The Dugout Inn was as dusty as always. Something about the place reeked of liquor, old dirt, and undisturbed dust. The worn furniture matched the peeling paint and fritzing overhead light bulbs. Whole sections of the ceiling were wilting, revealing hard concrete that matched the trash-strewn ground. Along the supporting pillars were crooked old paintings that always frustrated Tessa, and she did her best to ignore them as the four women approached the bar that comprised most of the far wall.

An assortment of knick-knacks filled the old wooden player boxes. Tessa mused for a few moments just how many homerun heroes and strikeout suckers had claimed those bat racks and half lockers. Now the most exciting thing to grace those storied relics were drinks, cleaning supplies, and a stray toaster or two. 

Piper interrupted Tessa’s reverie with an excited shout, “Vadim, how about four of your famous moonshine?” The blonde cast her an amused grin, and Piper winked up at her just as the balding man gave a hearty laugh and immediately started pouring some bottles from the still. Various people were in the tavern at the evening hour, and most of their eyes went to the group of new arrivals. Tessa had long since gotten used to all the attention, even after she’d stopped wearing her vault suit. The Pip-Boy would always garner her some unwanted attention, unfortunately. Now, however, she was a local celebrity, and attention would follow her wherever she went.

Most of the faces were ones she only knew in passing, but she gave a friendly wave to Arturo. The recently elected council member gave her a bright smile in return and raised his beer. She laughed and tipped her newsboy hat. “Friend of yours?” Teased Desdemona.

“More like a mutual acquaintance, don’t you think?” Tessa smoothly replied.

With a subtle smile, Desdemona leaned in a bit closer. “Careful now, I’m still keeping myself a secret, remember?”

“Don’t worry, I won’t give you up that easy.”

Vadim slammed the moonshine on the counter, the drinks so perfectly made they lacked that distinctive alcohol scent. Tessa paid up and then lifted her bottle with the others. “To an easy evening!” Tessa cheered, and they clanked bottles with joyful agreement. 

Desdemona pulled back after tasting hers and whistled. “Fuck, that’s strong!”

“Awh come on you just started,” G5 taunted, nudging the ginger with her elbow. “I want to see you as red as your hair.”

“I don’t think that’s safe,” Desdemona cheekily replied.

“Hey, if you start puking, maybe Curie will come help,” G5 suggested.

“Awh, and miss out on you?”

“Cute.”

Tessa took a few swigs and had to exhale at the intense burn. “Shit. Can’t remember the last time I tried one of these.”

“I think it was MacCready’s birthday,” Piper said.

“Oh yeah, didn’t we end up in the stands?”

Piper snickered. “Without any shoes either... for some reason.”

A few moments passed of laughter, their voices mixing with the natural ambiance. Vadmin handed more drinks to other customers, but he glanced at them with the grace of a professional barkeep. “Sounds like fun,” Desdemona said, “Maybe we’ll end up something like that ourselves.”

“With Piper leading the way? Absolutely.” Tessa nudged the youngest of the group who simply stuck out her tongue and laughed. They migrated away from the bar towards one of the corners of the inn, where ratty couches and darkness clung to. Not all of the lights worked anymore if they ever even did. Scrutinizing eyes took in the stains of blood and alcohol to the cream pattern, and Tessa grumbled slightly with disgust.

G5 caught Tessa’s gaze. “Not everything can meet the standards of the old world.”

“I know I know,” she muttered, “doesn’t mean it’s not gross.”

“Hey you’ve gone through much worse,” Piper snickered as she kicked her feet up on the coffee table. It bore scars from five-finger-fillet and many other wasteland games. “Or did you forget about that time we went skulking through the Concord civic access tunnels?”

“A deathclaw came out of there!” Tessa gasped defensively, laughter sparkling in her eyes. She took another long pull of her moonshine and coughed. “Christ that was terrifying, first time seeing one of those devils. I honestly thought there would be a whole nest of them in there, instead, we got mirelurks.”

Desdemona crinkled her nose. “I would hate to face one of those in an enclosed space.”

“Eh, just go for the face and it’s as dead as any other creature,” G5 said casually, eyes fixated on Desdemona. 

“If you can avoid getting snipped in two,” Desdemona replied. Tessa blinked. Half the moonshine was already gone in Desdemona’s bottle. Hazel eyes flickered up to her, mischief alight like the wreath of fire framing them. “I am not a fan of those things, not even the meat. I don’t get why so many people consider it a delicacy.”

Piper shrugged. “Probably because it’s so dangerous to get. Even the eggs can attack you if you’re not careful!”

“Too salty,” Desdemona said with authority as if passing judgment on the entirety of mirelurk cuisine.

Laughter filled their corner, heads already a bit cloudy from the strong alcohol. G5 leaned into Desdemona on the couch, cheeks tinged red from either the moonshine or being near her lost flame. There was something beautiful about seeing G5 so open with her feelings, something that was normally much more rigid and hard to read. The presence of Desdemona had as palpable an effect and Tessa’s lovers did on her. Dark eyes flashed at Tessa, an edge of danger almost, though Tessa did not feel threatened. A blonde brow arched in a challenge.

G5 tilted her head into Desdemona, making the ginger blush. “I don’t remember the last time I drank,” she said, “especially with you.”

“We shared a drink before your procedure.” Desdemona’s eyes lowered, focusing elsewhere.

“Time to make some good memories then,” Tessa suggested before the mood could sour. She drank more moonshine, throat burning with every gulp. Piper smiled at her, beautiful in every way. Unable to resist, Tessa kissed Piper, a chuckle escaping the brunette at the taste of alcohol on their lips. Tessa’s heart sped up in the embrace, a thick chuckle escaping her as they pulled apart. Piper’s smile was less confident and more flustered, red accenting her cheeks.

When Tessa looked to the others, she was pleased to see they’d also kissed. As much as she loved Curie and would’ve liked to spend time with her, it was also pleasing to see G5 enjoying herself. Things had been particularly strained in regards to balancing social needs between the two. Still, this was the longest Tessa had ever seen G5 in control. A part of her worried Curie would return at an awkward moment. “You know you should really try to relax more,” cooed Piper in Tessa’s ear.

Tessa took ahold of Piper’s hand and squeezed it. “I guess I’m still wound up. It’s crazy to think the worst of it is finally over.”

“Hopefully,” Desdemona intoned, “we have to be prepared for another war but… yes it is surreal that we’re finally done.”

With a cheerful laugh, Piper toasted, “To retirement!” Their moonshine bottles clanked together loudly as the others joined in. They drank it swiftly, hoping that if they went fast enough the burn wouldn’t devour them from the inside out. Piper sputtered, pulling back first. She lolled her tongue out and waved at it as her face scrunched up. Desdemona relented second, reacting much the same as Piper. Tessa and G5 glared at one another, hoping to be the first to finish the incredibly high proof drink. Finally, Tessa gasped, unable to finish.

G5 slammed her empty bottle onto the small coffee table in front of them. They cheered and clapped for her, laughter bubbling between them like a bunch of sugar-high kids. G5 flexed and bowed where she sat, dramatically soaking up their praise. She caught Piper’s eye and leaned into the reporter, taking a sloppy kiss. Piper squeaked in surprise but returned it in full. When they pulled apart she was flushed, eyes wide. Tessa and Desdemona’s brows had both raised, surprised by G5’s forwardness.

“So that’s what it’s like,” G5 mumbled. 

“Are you feeling alright?” Tessa asked with a smile.

“Yeah! I just… Curie writes about how much she loves you two and kissing and all- what it’s not a big deal, we’ve kissed before!”

Piper chuckled, brushed some of G5’s hair back, and leaned in for another. “First time you’ve ever initiated it.”

G5 grinned, took Piper by the collar, and pulled her close. Tessa laughed as they embraced, cautiously glancing at Desdemona. Instead of the jealousy, she feared to see, Desdemona watched with keen interest. She knowingly glanced up to Tessa and winked, making the blonde blush fiercely. “Maybe the moonshine is getting to me,” conceded G5 as they pulled apart.

“You downed that like a champ,” praised Desdemona. “I think only Glory could outdrink you.”

“And damn did she do it every time,” snorted G5.

Tessa fondly thought of the mini gun-toting Railroad agent. “I remember one time she and I cleared out a railway tunnel that raiders had taken over. She was a force to be reckoned with, and afterward, we drank half of Deacon’s  _ secret  _ stash.”

Desdemona purred in delight. “So that’s why he was so grumpy that day. I nearly sent him on a job just to get his grumbling to stop.”

“Knowing Deacon it was more because you found it than you drank it,” Piper put in, G5 nodding in agreement. “He sure loves his secrets.”

“That he does,” agreed Tessa, “can’t believe he tried to trick me into thinking he was a synth though.”

G5 rolled her eyes. “I don’t like him much, too playful.”

“He’s matured considerably,” Desdemona defended softly, “but you do have a point.”

“It’s good to find a moment to laugh,” Piper countered, “especially in the face of overwhelming sorrow. A good story or joke can set a fire in the soul. We can’t always be dodging bullets and performing covert ops.”

“Hopefully there will be considerably less of that in our futures,” Desdemona said.

Tessa kissed Piper’s cheek lovingly, warmth in her chest. She tucked her nose in the crook of Piper’s neck, simply delighting in her presence and the way the reporter hummed in delight. G5 and Desdemona cuddled as well, dwelling on their own thoughts. Piper interlocked their hands, playing with the calloused digits of her love. It was a perfectly peaceful moment, a rarity in the wasteland.

Naturally, that had to come to an end.

A loud clatter drew their attention to a trio of Diamond City residents. Shattered glass and spilled alcohol stained the concrete floor, one man’s shirt doused in beer. Tessa grimaced as the three residents began to argue, heated words rising rapidly. “Should I intervene?” Tessa asked slowly, worried that a proper fight could break out. There were no guards in the Dugout at the moment, leaving Vadim to act as bouncer himself. The older man paled behind the counter, trying to calm things to little success.

“I’ll back you up,” G5 said with a tense edge, separating from Desdemona reluctantly.

Nodding, Tessa rose to her feet and cautiously made her way over. She wasn’t dressed in her armor, unlike a merc who was swiftly approaching from the side. Sunglass framed dark skin that momentarily reminded Tessa of X6-88 and she froze in place. G5 stopped next to her, confused until she spotted the man. The next thing Tessa knew the merc was on the ground with G5 going completely berserk above him. The already bubbling fight burst next to her, residents throwing fists and bottles getting turned into weapons. Shouts exploded, for guards, for them to stop, and for bloodshed all at the same time. Tessa darted for G5 and tried to pull her off the man. Despite her lighter frame, G5 stood her ground like a dog on prey, unleashing devastation on the man. He covered his face with his arms but he was bloodying rapidly. Crimson slicked the bottom of G5’s boots, a feral growl coming from the former courser. 

Desdemona and Piper were there a moment too late, hauling G5 back just as friends of the merc arrived. They stumbled over their friend as their target was pulled back, falling into Tessa instead. Stars swam in Tessa’s vision as a fist impacted her nose. She violently reacted in kind, gripping the merc’s shoulders and pushing him back just enough to lay on a flurry of punches. Her knuckles cracked with the last punch and the merc collapsed onto a dirty couch. Piper and Desdemona were having to fight G5 back, a frenzy consuming her that terrified Tessa. It was a painfully familiar sight.

The rustling residents spilled over into Tessa’s area, elbows catching her sides and a stray fist skimming her shoulder. She stumbled away, the entire inn devolving into violence. Someone screamed as they were stabbed with a broken bottle, another ran past Tessa with a broken nose and a split lip. From the corner of her eye, she saw a knife aimed at her and she reacted on pure instinct, sidestepping and sweeping out her assailant’s feet. The merc landed on his own blade. Not a singular voice was clear in the cacophony, only shouts and curses, and meaty injuries. Desperate not to get swept up in the tide, Tessa struggled towards the edges of the inn.

An unseen hand pulled her by the shoulder free. Ready for a scrap, Tessa nearly punched Desdemona but stopped herself short. “We need to get the fuck out of here,” Desdemona hissed.

“There’s no back door,” lamented Tessa briskly. The entrance was bottlenecked, people trying to flee and guards trying to enter making it an impenetrable wall of shifting bodies. “We can hide in the back rooms till this blows over!”

Fortunately, they weren’t far, and it wasn’t too hard to pull away from the bar fight towards the rentable bedrooms. Tessa tossed a heavy stack of caps towards Yefim who was clinging to the wall like a frightened cat. He barely registered the offering and blinked after them. Running to the furthest room with G5 carried like a wounded soldier, the women retreated. They placed G5 on the bed while Piper pushed the nearest piece of furniture in front of the door just in case, the roar of violence vibrating the wooden frame. It felt like being caught inside a tornado, a storm tearing all around them. Gulping, Tessa turned to the source of the outbreak.

G5 had stopped fighting. She was hyperventilating on the bed, staring at her bloodied boots. Blood dripped from her fists, not her own. Desdemona gingerly sat next to her, not touching her just yet. “G5…”

The former courser didn’t speak, didn’t even blink, only frantically breathing as the women drew nearer. Tessa fumbled with the sleeve of her shirt and tore the cuff off. Her nose didn’t feel broken, but it certainly smarted. She stuffed her nostrils with flannel to stem the bleeding, and awkwardly checked the others for injuries. Desdemona had a few scuffs that would surely bruise while Piper was bleeding from a glass cut to her arm. Sighing, Tessa began to roll up Piper’s sleeve to wrap the wound. The reporter instinctively leaned into her touch, safe there with Tessa.

Desdemona placed a hand on G5’s shoulder and the former courser jerked back. Her eyes were as wide as saucers and pupils dilated. “I thought it was him,” she gasped.

“Who?”

“X6… that merc… he- I…”

Tessa gave a long sigh. The tension in her body wasn’t leaving, building up instead at the base of her spine. She still felt like fighting, half expecting the throng of bar brawlers to burst through the barricaded door. “I thought the same.”

G5 clenched a fist. Her legs were trembling. “I used to work with him. I wonder if h-he recognized me when he abducted Curie. Seeing someone so like him I- I don’t know what overcame me.”

“Trauma has a real ugly way of rearing its head,” Piper put in slowly, as if afraid of further upsetting her. “You seemed a bit on edge when you got up though. Is there something going on?”

The synth gritted her teeth and held her head in her hands. Blood dripped down onto her boots, further adding to the crimson stains. “I… I want to stay awake and enjoy this but… I’m tired. I can’t be in control for long, even when I try so hard. I don’t… I don’t want to go to sleep and wake up a week later and Dez is gone.”

Tension crackled through the air, sparking along their spines. Desdemona frowned. “A week? Is that normally how long you go between being in control?”

G5 shrugged. “This isn’t my body anymore… it’s  _ ours _ but really it’s  _ hers _ . I wake up for an hour or so and then a long time has gone by. You have no idea what it’s like to lose your own fucking body. I like Curie, we’ve made our peace and I’m not upset with the decision you and Glory made.” She took one of Desdemona’s hands in her own, holding tight. “But this isn’t life.”

Desdemona looked at their hands, blood, and dirt rubbing off onto her. They were far from the bloodiest her hands had ever been. “All we can do is make the best out of this situation, right? You two are stuck together aren’t you?”

G5 gave a trembling nod. “We don’t know what makes us change control, other than stimulus. Seeing you… it jolted me forward just like Tessa and Piper draw out Curie.”

“One trend I’ve noticed,” Tessa said softly, “is you tend to come around when Curie’s suddenly lost consciousness.”

“Like the paint prank,” Piper added.

“Exactly. If she unexpectedly loses control you wake up… and protect the both of you.”

G5 was crestfallen. “Is that all I am? A defense mechanism? An angry war dog waiting to fight? I thought I escaped the Institute, but their claws are still sunk in me. I- I lost my mind to escape them!” She withdrew from Desdemona, holding herself now. There was so much blood, and the poor man hadn’t even had a chance to defend himself. The riot could still be heard outside, shouts and slamming. The only blessing was that gunfire hadn’t mixed in just yet. 

“You’re a person, G5,” Tessa promised. “Just like I am.”

“You’re a perfect replicant of a pre-war brain frozen for extraction. I’m the corrupted data of a killer, a cold-hearted murderer, trapped beneath the programming of a man-made doc bot. We’re nothing alike, Grey.”

“I’m not Tessa Grey, the lawyer, and mother,” she replied in a gentle tone, even if those words struck a chord within her. As much as she was at peace with herself, it still hurt at times. “I’ve arguably committed genocide. Twice. I wiped a settlement off the map in a chem-induced blood rage. I’ve left so many bodies in my wake I have nightmares where I see the faces of those I betrayed. Sure, I’ve done good, I was pivotal in liberating our kin, and I’ve united the Commonwealth under the banner of the Minutemen. That doesn’t wipe away the murder. It doesn’t change that I strangled Shaun until the life left his eyes and the machine flatlining didn’t stop me.”

“You killed the devil,” rationalized G5 in a quiet voice. “I served him without hesitation.”

“You were brainwashed.”

“I caught so many kin and brought them to their deaths. I was  _ bad _ !”

Desdemona’s voice cut in like a surgical knife. “You left that behind. You redeemed yourself, and you were never really at fault either. You were a tool, G5, and a good one at that. And one day, you woke up, and you escaped your oppressors who made you do those awful things. You’re not responsible for their sins.”

G5 trembled and withdrew into herself. “The institute didn’t make me almost kill that man. I’m accountable for that.”

“You did it because of repressed trauma. It’s not like you just snapped for no reason. He resembled the man who took you, who hurt you.”

“Curie- Curie not me.”

“Is it really that different?”

G5 drew her knees up close to her body and wrapped her arms around them. Burying her face in them, her voice came out muffled and strained. “We couldn’t be more like night and day if we tried. Curie is… she’s good. She wants to help people, and educate them and save the world. I just want to stop hurting, and I bite and I kick and I kill. She loathes violence but it’s my first instinct.”

“All I want to do is tell the world the truth,” Piper said softly, “and it’s made me kill. Killing… it’s not black and white. Sometimes to protect people, a bad person has to die. Morality in the wasteland isn’t as easy as the old days, where- what was it Blue, a judge and a jury decided the fate of the accused and an executioner carried it out? Out here, sometimes you have to be all three. Nobody really gave anyone the authority to in most cases, we try for something reminiscent of civility; mayors, militias, town guards and sheriffs… we’re making up the rules as we go and it’s the best we can do.” Piper placed a hand on G5’s knee. Tessa took her other hand and gave her a supportive squeeze.

“I want… I don’t want to hurt people anymore,” whispered G5. “I want to be able to laugh and smile and not feel like a hypocrite.”

Desdemona placed her hands on G5 and Piper’s shoulders while Tessa lay her free one on G5’s other shoulder. They were chained up in affection in support. Each physical point was warm and held the certainty, the dedication only possible when met with genuine care. “Then you work for it, every damn day,” Piper said.

“I’ve got more blood in my ledger than I’ll ever be able to wipe clean,” Desdemona admitted, “but I still have to try. I have to hope to do enough good to outweigh the sins.”

“You’re not alone, G5,” Tessa comforted. “We’ll all work together to be better.”

“I’m… I…”

“It’s okay to not know what to say,” she soothed. “Just trust us, please. We love you, and want you to be okay. It won’t be easy, but we’ll help. You’ll never hurt someone like you did tonight again.”

G5 raised her head just enough for reddened dark eyes to look at each of them. She sniffled, then gave a small nod. “Thank you…”


End file.
